Amazing Grace

GOD still cares eventhough we know we wrong

I have been struggling through all these weeks. Many things happen during the times and there were days I kept fall and fall again. I tried to rise up and still didn't able to move on. I knew I shouldn't lose my faith, but what could I do, my power bit by bit has gone. There were times I had been asking God if God still loves me or God already close HIS door of love and chose to give no more mercy for me. Week by week, I lose my strength.  I could really feel it as real as my senses work. Ups and downs had been my food all the time. I even ever wanted to stop living as a Christian. I see to live as a Christian is really tought, hard, difficult. Bible, which is about the word of God-the Truth, is non-sense. The only thing I could think was I am a sinner that can never be forgiven anymore. That caused by I do what is wrong all the time. I've been hiding for a long time in a shield of "nobody is perfect" thing.
Well that's true that no body is perfect in this world. But, the word of God has stated a clear and an unarguable statement that tells about humans can do , even, what is impossible to do to be possible to do. That is by living in Christ.
As it is written in the Bible,

Paul says, " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phillipians 4:13)

As today, I am so glad that I can rejoice once again. In a few minutes before I got myself in a bus, in one cold night after finish my work around 7pm. I stood there on the pedestrian way. Well, in the morning I have my heart caught up by an option. After all the troubles, the struggles that are still on the way, they haven't done yet, there is a new thing again come into my mind. It's really hard to let it go. There, that's somewhat a person talks to me. "Ella, you know what you are experiencing right now is a chance to prove that God still can do a miracle in your life. It is your choice, whether to hate that person or to show love as how God has taught you to love your neighbours." There, once again I was being remembered that God really able to do something that's impossible for me to be possible in the past few years.
I am silenced for awhile. I am amazed that God still show HIS love to me by caring me, who is a sinner.  Then,  I am started to recall the old days that I've ever gone through. I have had few experiences how I ever walked with God. God was helping me, guiding me, and being my Best Friend when in the troubles.  HE for sure was my Savior that I could counted on.

The moment I think about those times all over again strengthens my faith and helps me to count on God once more again from today.  Then, when I just simply chose to show love God already gives me joy and hope in my heart. I haven't even done anything yet, it feels like God only wants to see my heart. It feels like HE really values the simplicity of my little action that is to chose to obey God's word. I am so amazed.

Now back to a time where I am waiting for the bus coming. I put out my iPod and decided to listen to the songs that, I believe, can bless my spirit. Songs of praises and worship to the God of Gods, which name is Jesus. I looked up to the sky above its dark already, but I could still see the clouds. The sky huge and wide and as I heard the song sings the greatness of the Lord, I am stunned. God has changed my heart. HE teach me to surrender in all I do. In every step I take, I must surrender to HIM.

Zechariah 4:6 says, "Not by might nor by power but my Spirit," says the LORD Almighty.

My God is a So Wonderful GOD.

I am not afraid to speak the truth that GOD delivers through me.

sometimes we lose our appetite for the word of God (the Way, the Truth, and the Life), because we received what we didn't hope/pray for.

Psalms 34:8 says, "All taste and see for the LORD is good" (no matter what will change in life).

we wanna see and then taste, but the bible doesn't say see  and then taste, but taste and see for the LORD is good!

Speak by faith, not by what I see in front of my eyes about my circumstances.

my soul shall magnify the LORD, means "My soul makes God magnify, huge over my life."

david says, "My soul bless the LORD all the days in my life." He speaks what he is going to do. He doesn't let the circumstance around him take control of him, but he chose to bless the Lord whether his world collapse.

when we look around and see other people, we would get dissapoint by seeing the unfairness of this world.
don't look around (to the other people), but look up to GOD.

Reality is hard, but all I wanna remember is God is my Shepherd

pressure ada disekeliling kita ada reasonsnya.
"everything happens for a reason."
problems diijinkan untuk ada dan masuk dlm kehidupan ini..
BUT
GOD IS  STILL IN CONTROL
(actually God always in control of ev'rything)
kadang kita gak ngerti kenapa spertinya tiba2 kita terjebak dlm situasi yg menyulitkan kita. tp coba kita ambil waktu sejenak untuk silent.. dan pikirkan bhw ada TUHAN. Itu akan menyelesaikan dan memberikan jawaban kepada setiap persoalan yg kita lg hadapi. memang bukan physically masalahnya tiba2 terselesaikan dgn sempurna. tp ada "sesuatu" (hehe.. you'll know what i mean when you are facing problem(s) right now and are doing the same thing as I do.. no matter what it is), ada "sesuatu" yg mengalir didlm hati kita even stronger than our logic (lbh dr pikiran kita sendiri).

terus terang kmarin malem gw stress berat.. well beberapa waktu ini gw mengalami stress & ada pressure yg cukup berat sih.. tp gak gw crita ke org2.. cukup sm org yg ada sama gw dlm suka & duka hehe.. gw wkt under pressure lupa & terlalu tenggelam sama situasi & pikiran gw sendiri.. mencari solusi & sumber masalahnya.. tp gak ketemu n malah cari tempat lain to runaway.. dan wkt mau tidur sekitar jam 3-an.. at the very last minuete.. gw teringat sm Tuhan. Tuhan ada.  knapa gw mesti lari ke tempat lain, knapa gw mesti stress. bebrp wkt kmd gw tertidur pules.. sampai ada sms dr hunny bangunin gw hehe.. then I decided to get up n pray also read the bible. trus, gw baca2 sambil dngrin lagu, n lagunya ingetin gw satu pasal.. psalm 23. n gw baca itu psalm 23 says God is my shepherd.

God is my shepherd;
I have everthing I need.
He lets me rest in green pastures.
He leads me to calm water.
He gives me new strength.
He leads me on paths that are right for the good of His name.
Even if I walk through a very dark valley,
I will not be afraid,
because You are with me.

~ psalm 23:1-4

sebuah pesan yg dulu n dah pernah even sering dibaca tp hari ini pas bgt buat gw hehe.. (mgkn ini yg dibilang the word of God is alive, firman Tuhan tuh hidup). pas bgt isi psalm 23 ini yg lg gw baca sama kata2 di lagu yg sdg gw dnger liriknya "pegang tanganKu, Ku slalu ada untukmu." aniway, ev'rything is happenned for a reason, right? hehe...

waktu udah inget ada Tuhan. God is able to solve every single thing of the problems we made. 

gw bs relaks now.. eventhough situasi mungkin msh sama dgn yg awal.. tapi gw dah tau.. the reasons why all of these happened and are still happening...

gw hanya bisa bersyukur, Tuhan menemukan gw, God found me. di dalam kehidupan yg tough ini.. yg gw tau "I need God who is here. I need God who is now & tomorrow & the future." (God is the Alpha and Omega, the first and the beginning and the last).

note: pray to God and tells everything inside our heart, tell God everything we feel and what we need.

Journey 01

Lord, you have made my heart hard like a stone.
"Lord, is it true that You harden the heart of the king of Egypt was to teaching Your people and to save others from the death?"

Journey 02

Lord, You lead me to the unknown road.
I was so scared when I asked deeply in my heart.. "where are You Lord when I feel sick?"

2007 a year of blessing

Manusia tak lebih dari debu tanah yg tak berarti
semua adalah anugrah yg menjadikanku berhagra
segambar dan serupa dgn Tuhan Sang Pencipta
rancanganNYA sempurna
janjiNYA tak akan pernah berubah

kebajikanMU kemurahanMU mengikutiku di setiap waktu
perlindunganku, tempat hatiku mengadu
Kaulah sahabat tak pernah tinggalkanku

-- ux band song

Just believe

As we are living in imperfect life we can't avoid things that must happen in our ways. But I believe, God still teaches us and mold our heart through many ways and in every circumstance.

Mujizat itu nyata

Tak terbatas kuasa-Mu Tuhan
Semua dapat Kau lakukan
Apa yang kelihatan mustahil bagiku
itu sangat mungkin bagi-Mu

Disaatku tak berdaya
Kuasa-Mu yang sempurna
Ketika kupercaya
Mujizat itu nyata
Bukan karena kekuatan
Namun Roh-Mu ya TUHAN
Ketika kuberdoa
Mujizat itu nyata !

Saat hati kacau, pedih, bahkan sakit rasanya ayo minta kekuatan yg baru sama Tuhan dan percaya sungguh-sungguh kepada Dia. Karena dimulai dari doa yang terpancar dari hati atau ekspresi hati yang jujur sama Tuhan Yesus, saat aku percaya dengan sungguh-sungguh, mujizat itu menjadi nyata !!

Transparan

mempunyai hidup yg transparan itu ternyata cukup sulit. begitu juga dengan ingin menjadi surat yg terbuka bagi orang-orang.

waktu doa sama Tuhan minta Tuhan jadikan hidupku transparan, sehingga hidupku gak seperti uang logam yg mempunyai 2 sisi yg berbeda, waktu berdoa saat itu merasa diri sudah siap, tapi seiring waktu yg berjalan dan dipenuhi dgn berbagai kegiatan dan banyaknya doa yg telah diucapkan setiap hari membuat diri gak sadar kalau termyata Tuhan sudah menjawab doa ini dan sedang membawa diri ini memasuki masa pemprosesan.

namun satu hal yg indah yaitu saat menyadari kalau Tuhan sedang memproses ujung dari proses ini akhirnya pasti akan membawa kebaikan juga bagi diri kita sendiri.

memang saat orang lain tahu tentang kelemahan diri, kebodohan, dan kejelekan-kejelekan kita itu membuat diri kita itu gak enak atau rasa gak aman, atau orang menyinggung hal-hal yg menyangkut dengan kelemahan/ kegagalan juga sangat tidak enak rasanya. namun kalau semua ini terjadi ketika kita meminta Tuhan untuk menjadikan hidup kita transparan/ terbuka, yakinlah bahwa Tuhan ikut andil dalam perkara-perkara yg kita alami ini. God is in control. 

Roma 8:28 - "Kita tahu sekarang, bahwa Allah turut bekerja dalam segala sesuatu untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi mereka yang mengasihi Dia, yaitu bagi mereka yang terpanggil sesuai dengan rencana Allah."


n.b: kalo aku sudah buat hal-hal yg bodoh dan mengesalkan, tolong ingatkan aku, supaya aku bisa perbaiki diri. aku minta maaf yg sebesar-besarnya.

The Pleasure of Love

love is sweet..     (everybody says that, and yes i know!)
but, i just know that
love is become sweeter..    when Jesus has, first, equipped us with His blessing & joy, to feel the pleasure of love

peace & comfort that i feel in that love

for my sweet love:
that's why tonight is different unlike yesterday
yesterday i told you i feel so lonely
today i feel joy bcoz my heart now knows the secret of sweeter love.
for everyone:
So, before you want to enjoy the love, ask the Lord Jesus first to give you HiS peace & joy, and you'll know you already got 'em coz the blessings are for real !!!

=)