I have been struggling through all these weeks. Many things happen during the times and there were days I kept fall and fall again. I tried to rise up and still didn't able to move on. I knew I shouldn't lose my faith, but what could I do, my power bit by bit has gone. There were times I had been asking God if God still loves me or God already close HIS door of love and chose to give no more mercy for me. Week by week, I lose my strength. I could really feel it as real as my senses work. Ups and downs had been my food all the time. I even ever wanted to stop living as a Christian. I see to live as a Christian is really tought, hard, difficult. Bible, which is about the word of God-the Truth, is non-sense. The only thing I could think was I am a sinner that can never be forgiven anymore. That caused by I do what is wrong all the time. I've been hiding for a long time in a shield of "nobody is perfect" thing.
Well that's true that no body is perfect in this world. But, the word of God has stated a clear and an unarguable statement that tells about humans can do , even, what is impossible to do to be possible to do. That is by living in Christ.
As it is written in the Bible,
Paul says, " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phillipians 4:13)
As today, I am so glad that I can rejoice once again. In a few minutes before I got myself in a bus, in one cold night after finish my work around 7pm. I stood there on the pedestrian way. Well, in the morning I have my heart caught up by an option. After all the troubles, the struggles that are still on the way, they haven't done yet, there is a new thing again come into my mind. It's really hard to let it go. There, that's somewhat a person talks to me. "Ella, you know what you are experiencing right now is a chance to prove that God still can do a miracle in your life. It is your choice, whether to hate that person or to show love as how God has taught you to love your neighbours." There, once again I was being remembered that God really able to do something that's impossible for me to be possible in the past few years.
I am silenced for awhile. I am amazed that God still show HIS love to me by caring me, who is a sinner. Then, I am started to recall the old days that I've ever gone through. I have had few experiences how I ever walked with God. God was helping me, guiding me, and being my Best Friend when in the troubles. HE for sure was my Savior that I could counted on.
The moment I think about those times all over again strengthens my faith and helps me to count on God once more again from today. Then, when I just simply chose to show love God already gives me joy and hope in my heart. I haven't even done anything yet, it feels like God only wants to see my heart. It feels like HE really values the simplicity of my little action that is to chose to obey God's word. I am so amazed.
Now back to a time where I am waiting for the bus coming. I put out my iPod and decided to listen to the songs that, I believe, can bless my spirit. Songs of praises and worship to the God of Gods, which name is Jesus. I looked up to the sky above its dark already, but I could still see the clouds. The sky huge and wide and as I heard the song sings the greatness of the Lord, I am stunned. God has changed my heart. HE teach me to surrender in all I do. In every step I take, I must surrender to HIM.
Zechariah 4:6 says, "Not by might nor by power but my Spirit," says the LORD Almighty.
Recent Comments